mikeklimczak.com | Mike Klimczak – Comedian

Archive for the "Twitter" Category

Can you guess what the secret ingredient in my wife’s sausage rolls is?

Can you guess what the secret ingredient in my wife’s sausage rolls is?


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According to the door of this Korean restaurant, the Ark Of The Covenant is located inside THIS GUY.

According to the door of this Korean restaurant, the Ark Of The Covenant is located inside THIS GUY.


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@arozenbachs @tigersgoroooar it’s five o’clock, here.

@arozenbachs @tigersgoroooar it’s five o’clock, here.


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3YO: “DAD LOOK! I FIXED YOUR PHONE!”

3YO: “DAD LOOK! I FIXED YOUR PHONE!”


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I JUST SAW TWO LADIES DOIN’ IT!

I JUST SAW TWO LADIES DOIN’ IT!


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ME: “Hi darling. What did you learn at school today?” 3YO: “Nothing.”

ME: “Hi darling. What did you learn at school today?” 3YO: “Nothing.”


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Your Friday afternoon plans are invalid. #VitaminRum

Your Friday afternoon plans are invalid. #VitaminRum


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Separated at birth (@charliesheen).

Separated at birth (@charliesheen).


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“How inspiration quotes work on Facebook”, by @Michael1979 #FF

“How inspiration quotes work on Facebook”, by @Michael1979 #FF


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Separated at birth?

Separated at birth?


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Hey #SOPA, I FOUND ONE! I FOUND ONE!

Hey #SOPA, I FOUND ONE! I found one!


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I’ve got your nose!

I’ve got your nose!


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I have already sold my car… BEHOLD THE FUTURE OF TRAVEL!


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No fat chicks?

No fat chicks?


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Is this an advertisement FOR or AGAINST beer?

Is this an advertisement FOR or AGAINST beer?


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Comparing symptoms of low testosterone with owning Skyrim.

In men, the symptoms low testosterone and of owning Skyrim are quite similar. Consult the following table: Symptoms of low testosterone Symptoms of owning Skyrim Mood changes (low mood and irritability) Poor concentration Low energy Reduced muscle strength Longer time to recover from exercise Low interest in sex (decreased libido) Difficulty getting and keeping erections [...]


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Signs that you’re not using your…

Signs that you’re not using your treadmill much anymore: Your kids have a sleepover on it.


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With 100% of the vote being “Yes”…

With 100% of the vote being “Yes” (only @gneicco’s was the only vote), here’s the booger-pic. WhenGoodPeopleDoNothing


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“No Dad, I don’t know where the…

“No Dad, I don’t know where the last cherry went.”


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#HilariousWaitingToHappen

#HilariousWaitingToHappen


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