(Sung to the tune of Kermit The Frog’s “Rainbow Connection”)

Why are there so many blogs about broadband
And what’s on the other side?
Labor and Conroy’s, net-filter solutions,
Catch users with something to hide.
So we’ve been told, Labor voters believe it
I know they’re wrong, wait and see.
Someday they’ll filter, your broadband connection,
To websites with naughty live feeds.

I think my ping requests are slower to answer
when filtered by Big Broth-ah?
Bureaucrats thought of it
and Conroy believed it,
and look what it’s done so far..
It’s so amazing it keeps bloggers raving.
What do they think we might see?
Someday they’ll filter, your broadband connection,
To websites with horror movies.

Conroy can’t say how it works,
He says scammers come through portals…

Broadband at slower speeds
No options or choices?
Like broadband the Chinese have.
Google and ISP’s all making noises
That filtering isn’t the way.
Conroy and Labor hear them and ignore them.
They say that it’s better for me.
Someday we’ll find that our broadband connection
Has only what they’ll let us see.
Blah, blah blah, Blah, blah blah blah, Blah Blaa, blah blah, Blah, Blah blah blaaaaaaah.

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It has been almost two weeks since I was last governed by a Prime Minister and the cravings have almost stopped.

I am able to go about my day hardly ever needing oversight or legislation. I still enjoy all the things I used to. I haven’t even put on weight.

I honestly think it has added ten years to my life.

I think it is a shame that young people are still taking up politics. We really need to get those commercials off the air. Luckily there is not much work to be done with the political parties’ packaging. It is already quite plain.

Will I be able to stay off the governments forever? I’m not sure. But you know what? It’s a process, and if I keep going to my “Governed Anonymous” meetings I know I can beat it.

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For more than a year I have been negotiating with an Adelaide cafe to host comedy during the Adelaide Fringe. At the end of this year’s Fringe I hassled them again and they said “No, not ever”.

Poo.

I hung up the phone and angrily stomped down Rundle St with the intention of finding a new venue instantly.

Guess what? I found a new venue instantly!

2011 will see a new venue in the Adelaide Fringe with 7 shows being hosted in Gelatissimo’s upstairs lounge on Rundle St, just near The Garden Of Unearthly Delights.

It seats up to 70 people with a bar and air conditioning. It is beautiful. I’ll see you there.

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The night went great, except for the stupid technical problem that was entirely my fault. The show so far proves to be very interactive with the audience and gives me chance to share a few stories that in my normal stand up gigs I don’t normally indulge in.

I’ll see you there at Creepy Guy @ The Fringe!

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July 27 I will be headlining at The Arkaba in Adelaide.

I will be trying out my 2010 Fringe Festival show “Creepy guy”. It will be an audio/visual/online/interactive spectacular.

You can learn what makes a creepy guy and how to spot one. You may even meet some on the night.

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