mikeklimczak.com | Mike Klimczak – Comedian

South Australia could be the next Dubai (but glowing!).

One of South Australia's most lucrative exports is uranium. "Ooh, that's horrible." you say. Just pretend you still don't know that fact and continue to live in an economy that would be flailing right now without such evil exports.

More correctly, we export yellow cake. This is uranium in its most unrefined form and is actually quite safe to be around so long as you don't start eating it. Uranium doesn't become more lethally radioactive until it is refined into plutonium rods for instance, then the radiation it gives off can be fatal if not properly shielded (you shouldn't eat plutonium either). Of course after the plutonium is used up, it can be REALLY dangerous and needs to be stored for years and years before it is no longer a threat.

So relax, South Australia just exports yellow cake, it's safe. The countries we export it to then refine it and sell it (for a massive profit) to other countries that must then dispose of it (at a massive cost).

It's like South Australia is selling Metamucil to the world, and the world then mixes it with water, drinks it and then has a massive turd to deal with.

As wealthy as yellow cake exports have made us, why stop there? We dig this crap out of the ground, why not build industries around refining it (or don't we think we can be a world leader in that?) and disposal of it? We would all be gajillionaires!

"Oh but Mike, refined and spent uranium is dangerous, we don't want that anywhere near us!"

Well, if we won't be responsible for it, what right do we have to profit from digging it out of the ground in the first place?


PS: I'm pro-nuclear as a form of power. It kills a fraction of the people that coal power generation does, even including catastrophes like Fukushima and Chernobyl.